The moment you find out you’re having a baby early forever changes you. Whether it’s three months early or three weeks there is still a sense of fear that overwhelms you. Questions of guilt fill your mind no matter how much you followed every rule. “Why did my body fail this baby? Why did my placenta just stop working? Why had he not grown?” The day that my son came into this world was the most amazing yet scariest day of my life. His stats kept dropping during labor. The cord-flow was not right. He didn’t come out crying. Doctors swarmed around my bed as my OB was talking loudly trying to mask the hushed voices awaiting to hear a cry. “He’s a boy, he’s so beautiful; he’s a redhead; you did amazing!” I heard all these things but ALL I WANTED TO KNOW was if he was OK. That time seemed like an eternity but was just a mere moment before hearing this meek, tiny, beautiful sound of a cry. However, I didn’t cry as I expected myself to. I was still just needing to know he was good; that he was healthy. Almost afraid to become attached although I had already felt a love for him beyond anything I had ever felt before. He was so precious and clung to me but NICU quickly took him and ran several test right there in the room beside me. My husband disappeared into that room as well. I remember staring aimlessly into that little room as people were all still swarmed around me and now him as well until I finally heard he was OK….tiny but so, so mighty. That moment was like a fog had lifted. He defied all the odds from day one. And little did we know that was just the beginning.